Pennocchio

Why is Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton concealing donor lists from Hoosiers and Tarheels?

2008-04-25T13:31:00.003-04:00

Why will the Clintons sell this donor list, but not divulge it to voters in Indiana and North Carolina? Why are the Clintons depriving American voters of the chance to cast a more informed vote than she did on the Iraq War? Additional details to come before those primaries.

So, Today's the Day

2008-04-22T20:22:00.003-04:00

Pennocchio lives on if Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton doesn't muster some grace and bow out tonight.

Many thanks to those reporters and editors who've expressed interest in doing a post-mortem, exploring how grassroots organizers have helped to sideline Mark Pennocchio Penn. We'll remain active as long as her campaign does, and we'll have more about Penn's ongoing involvement in her campaign, too.

Finally, many thanks to the real Pennsylvanians who wrote with information. Tonight is your night! Thank you for putting up with Pennocchio's Puppet for 7 whole weeks!

Margaret Cho REALLY likes Obama (wink wink)

2008-04-11T13:13:00.003-04:00

Last night, I was surprised by my partner and some friends with tickets to see Margaret Cho. Liam Sullivan (and his alter egos, Kelly and Aunt Susan) opened. For those who don't know, Text Message Breakup is a cult phenom among younger voters. Betch.

Cho herself made her stance in this election quite clear: damning Hillary with faint praise, she said she REALLY likes Obama. *wink* *wink* For emphasis, she repeated that she REALLY likes Obama. *wink* *wink*

Poor Mark Pennocchio Penn: all he could muster was that "sad old queen," Elton (to borrow a phrase Cho herself used last night to describe Senator Larry "Wide Stance" Craig of HeDaHo). Cho and Kelly would kick Sir Elton's ass in a caged Grudge Match.

One more sign that Mark's Muppeteering is so over?

Can we please just do a Text Messsage Breakup with Billary and be done with it?

That, my friends, would be Beautiful , indeed.

Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah, Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah, Hey, Hey, Hey!

2008-04-06T19:52:00.003-04:00

Good-bye!

Since Geoff and Howard are still using Pennocchio's Puppetmaster Playbook, though, and since the Clintons still haven't come clean to Pennsylvanians about The Concealed Clinton Library Donor Lists, Pennocchio will remain active, to:

1. Inform Pennsylvanians (and voters in any other states in which Mark's Muppet chooses to remain in contention) about who Mark Penn really is, and why Hillary's affiliation with Pennocchio shows that she's not the candidate who aligns with their true best interests; and

2. Inform Pennsylvanians and other voters about issues the Clintons are Pennocchio-ing.

Jiminy Clinton is one dancing happy dancing cricket today, boys and girls!

Pennocchio in Pictures

2008-03-27T19:13:00.028-04:00

As promised, here are some pictures to provide additional context for yesterday's Pennocchio Production.

The event took place at the Daughters of the American Revolution.

The venue is just across the park from the Old Executive Office Building, where Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton wants to put lots of DLC puppets in charge of the levers of our Federal Government.

Badged Clinton Staff directed puppeteering fans to one of three lines, depending upon each contributor's level of support - or is that degree of delusion? The riff raff line was kept waiting by Pennocchio's Protégés.

Down along the south perimeter of Constitution Hall, the satellite uplink trucks vied with the local stations for space. In the background, the band waited on the south side porch.

The news crews all got copies of the flyer, as did Prius Owners for Hillary.

Mischief managed, I drove around and got a few pictures of the cherry blossoms while stopped in the interminable rush hour traffic lights.

Penn's Puppet Show Came to DC Today

2008-03-26T23:43:00.014-04:00

This evening, Mark's Marionette spoke from the Daughters of the American Revolution's Constitution Hall.

Earlier this week, I was tipped off to the following:

Join Chelsea and me in DC‏

From: Hillary Clinton (finance@hillaryclinton.com)
Sent: [redacted]
Reply-to: finance@hillaryclinton.com
To: [redacted]

Please join us for an evening to remember at Constitution Hall in Washington, DC this Wednesday, March 26th -- tickets start at $25! Sign up today at and be a part of history. Don't wait to register -- we expect to sell out!

Please forward this e-mail to your friends and colleagues -- churches and book clubs. And don't forget to sign up your family and kids -- this event will be fun for all generations.

Click here if you can't view the image below

Click here to RSVP

If you feel you have received this message in error, we apologize. You can unsubscribe at any time. ...

Paid for by Hillary Clinton for President

Contributions to Hillary Clinton for President are not deductible for federal income tax purposes. Corporate contributions are prohibited by law.

I like a good puppet show.

So, I went to check out the action. But I learned my manners. When invited, never show up empty-handed. I brought enough of these flyers for everyone - including the satellite trucks parked outside (from local DC networks, as well as national and international broadcast news outlets).

Fact-checking on the Penn stories is now underway. Pictures of today's event (including of the Clinton staffers, who didn't seem to enjoy my host's gift) will be posted tomorrow.

~ Jiminy Clinton, Official Conscience of the Clinton Campaign

P.S. If you'd like a copy of this flyer to print, copy, and distribute in your neighborhood (especially if you live in - or have family or friends who live in - PA), please contact me.

Mark Muppetmasters Hillary

2008-03-23T11:53:00.026-04:00

Who can forget that memorable scene from the movie adaptation of Chicago, when Richard Gere muppetmastered Rene Zellweger?

Well, ladies and gentlemen: the DLC's very own production is playing now in Pennsylvania!

For a limited four-week engagement only, audiences in the Keystone State will be underwhelmed by the amateurish ventriloquism of Mark "MuppetMaster" Penn, and the vain vampings of his little wooden performer, Senator Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton.

"Notice how his mouth never moves! (Almost.)"

But that's not the scene that Pennsylvania voters should watch most closely. Oh, no!

The scene they should really focus on is When You're Good to MAMA! (Mama's Good to You!)

Watch as Hillary - aided by Bill as The Bandleader - sings this little ditty about quid pro quos and reciprocal favors with the oil sheiks, corporate Clinton cronies, and other secret admirers who show up on the still-secret Clinton Library donor lists.

[The Bandleader - in Bill Clinton's cornpone rasp]

And now Ladies and Gentlemen!
The Keeper of the Keys
The Lady of the Lists
The Queenie of Quid Pro Quo Row
Matron Mama Clinton!

[Matron Mama Clinton takes the stage, and begins in the same breathy stage whisper screech she used to "sing" the National Anthem]

Ask any of the pollsters named Mark Penn
They'll tell you I'm the biggest mother (hen)
I love them all and all of them love me
Because the system works! The system called RECIPROCITY!!!

Got a little motto
Always sees me through
When you're good to Mama
Mama's good to Hsu

There's a lot of favors
I'm prepared to do
You do one for Mama
She'll do one for you

They say that life is tit for tat
And that's the way I live
So I deserve a little tat
For what I've got to give

Don't you know that this hand

Washes that one too

When you're good to Mama
Mama's good to you

If you want my gravy
Pepper my Ragu
Spice it up for Mama
She'll get hot for you

When they pass that basket
Folks contribute to
You put in for Mama

She'll put out for you

The folks atop the ladder
Are the ones the world adores
So boost me up my ladder kid
And I'll boost you up yours

Let's all stroke together
Like the Princeton Crew
When you're strokin' Mama
Mama's strokin' you

So what's the one conclusion
I can bring this number to?

Let's all VOTE OBAMA!
He'll be good for you!

Mark the MuppetMaster: Oh, wait. [looks frantically at script] That's not how it ends, right? Right? Hello? Is this thing on? Can anyone hear the words coming out of my mouth?

(Or believe them anymore?)

Pennocchio is born.

2008-03-14T16:22:00.001-04:00

Stay tuned to Pennocchio.org, which will go live soon: to show Mark Penn to the people of Pennsylvania, for what he truly is.

- Dave